Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Umbrella etiquette

I live in a rain forest, the West Coast of Canada.  8 months of the year it rains.  I've embraced the rain.  I've bought fun rubber rain boots to stomp in puddles, a bright green all weather jacket to keep me warm and dry, and a funky hat.  What I don't have is an umbrella.  That is because I'm usually pushing a stroller and/or holding little hands as we walk.  So, I'm usually soaked after a walk to preschool or work or shopping.

What I don't understand is the folks who HAVE umbrellas and their incessant need to also walk under the store awnings...thus forcing me, the umbrella-less one, to walk out in the rain.  Do they not understand the concept of umbrellas???  That if they step out into the rain, they will not get wet because of the aforementioned umbrella?
Umbrella etiquette people.  Seriously!

I think that I am extra grumpy about this because it is mid May and I am soaked to the skin slogging to preschool and back.

Spring, oh Spring
Wherefore art thou Spring?

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Signs of blessings...


Muffins made with love and little hands, served to me in bed...
Books to read for me and books to read to little girls as gifts...
A husband that made it all happen...
Flowers from my youth...
Dinner with my mom...
It was a beautiful day.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Signs of mourning

People grieve in different ways.  Some hold it all in, others let it all hang out.  Some seek to comfort in the midst of their own grieving, others lash out.  It has been interesting to me to see how my decision to leave has affected so many people.  The reactions have been varied.  Some have been hurtful, people questioning our decision making skills, making disparaging comments about my ministry and casting doubt on my ability to adjust to "life outside of this community."  Some reactions have been heart wrenching, seeing the front row of my youth sobbing during the announcement.

But, today I was blessed by 2 women who I considered friends and mentors.  They are beautiful, intelligent women, who have a passion for life and ministry.  They sat with me in a coffee shop and just listened.  They heard what I had to say, they saw the struggle it was to make the decision and they affirmed me.  Ute reminded me that as mothers we can go through seasons of ministry depending on the needs of our families.  And that it is OK to let go and realize that I may be in a different season of ministry.  That meant a lot since her 2 sons are in my youth group!  It also made me realize that I've been a pastor for 9 years, and it has shaped me in so many ways.  I think part of my mourning may be the letting go of that "title" (which really means nothing to me in the whole grand scheme of things...but still is part of me like being "Pookie & Bear's mom...does that make sense?)

This should be an interesting few weeks!

Monday, May 5, 2008

Big changes afoot...

I don't even know how to start this post.  This has been the craziest month of my life and I am exhausted and very emotional about it.  The long and short of the matter is that I've resigned from being a pastor and we are moving out of our city to the suburbs.  There is no ONE reason that we are doing this, (though people keep trying to pin me down to one) it is a whole host of things:
  • It is family and marriage, 
  • work and play, 
  • extended family and friends, 
  • church and ministry, 
  • camp and responsibilities
  • new job and school dreams
See?  It is so simple...

My family longs for space and green, a new place to worship and connect with community, to be closer to grandparents etc.  I long for space and green, but I love my church and my ministry.  I love my community.  And it is tearing me up to leave.  But it is time.  Our season here is done.  12 years.  There IS joy mingled with sorrow.  We are moving to a good place, a bigger home near family and good friends.  Pookie will be going to a good school, and Bear will start preschool near us.  There is goodness in the move.  But first I need to mourn.