Lent - Week one

I've always thought that the common thought of 'be careful of what you pray for because you'll be tested' was really bad theology. It is right up there with the idea that depression or miscarriages are God's will to make you depend on Him more --horrible, bad theology.

However, this week that is being put to the test. It is the very practice that I've taken up for Lent that has seemingly thrown my life into chaos. Or if it is just coincidence. Or the February Funk has infected my whole family....but it is ugly up in here.

I'm committed though. As best I can.

Writing a Lent liturgy

One of the things I want to do this Lent is to write my own liturgy. Not because I'm a great writer or very profound, but rather to give shape to this rhythm that I'm trying to create in my life. So far I've got a song that I want to listen to at the beginning:

Gungor - Dry Bones

Some other good Lenten reads:

Nadia Bolz Weber - Why I love Ash Wednesday and Lent, Part 1 & 2
Tripp Fuller - Did Jesus have to die to save us from our sins?

Lenten Times

Clearly I can only write during certain Church seasons, most notably the ones that are darker and involve waiting like Advent and Lent. No writing for me in more joyous seasons like CHRISTMAS! and EASTER!

This lent season comes right when I feel as though I am slipping into a full blown funk. It is no big secret that this time of year is hard for me. I'd been doing well, eating right and exercising, but life catches up and you can't fight body chemistry. It was also a crazy start to the new year with all of us in school, Jeff not working and me overworking to compensate. However, that's neither here or there, it is just life.

The biggest thing for me has been one of the classes I've been taking: Doctrinal Heritage. This class has singlehandedly deconstructed my faith in a way that has sent me into a bit of a crisis. That crazy song that you learn in Sunday school, "For the bible tells me so..." is a crock of shit when faced with hard questions. And it's not like I haven't faced hard questions from others before, but this class takes what YOU think and deconstructs in a way that you are left thinking, Why the hell do I believe that?!?!?

So this Lent season I am giving up something and taking up a spiritual practice. This doesn't make me more holy, but simply reminds me of how broken I am. The giving up piece is something that I struggle privately with and the taking up of a spiritual discipline is to help me reorient myself to God.

Blessings to you in your Lenten journey...

Here are some great Lent reflections/blogs that I've read recently:

Giving up Self Discipline for Lent
'I didn't ask you to give up coffee, I asked you to give up your life
Why practicing Lent is crazy
40 Ideas for Lent
Fat Tuesday and Skinny Wednesday