A youtube clip every mama should watch!

Got this from a friend...enjoy! (Sorry, I don't know how to upload the video directly)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=RxT5NwQUtVM

Little moments make life big...

When I first had Pookie, I decided that I would make sure that she knew how much I loved her. So I told her, all the time. I never want a day to go by where I don't tell my girls that I love them. Even if it has been a crappy day and I want to hide from them. It is the last words they hear when they go to bed. (not counting all the times we tell them to 'Go to sleep!')
This afternoon as I was trying to rest on the couch, Bear decided to play around/on me. She had 7 or 8 little people and was talking to them and making up stories. It was so cute and my heart felt so big with love for her that I whispered, "Bear, I love you". She stopped her game and whispered back,"Thank you".
Seriously, it is moments like these that make me feel like the most blessed woman on earth.

3

3 seems to be the number of kids our closest friends are having. We have friends that already have 3 under the age of 4, one who just gave birth to #3 and one who just announced that she is pregnant with #3. We have 2. And, barring a miracle, it will be 2 only. We always thought we'd have 3. Back in the blissful, pre-kid day, we cuddled in bed and talked about what our family would look like...and it pretty much always had 3 kids in the picture. That was before 3 years of trying, lots of tests, drugs and 2 miscarriages. Then came our perfect Pookie! Soon after Pookie's first birthday we thought we should get trying for #2, in case it took another 3 years. But, in between fertility treatments, at Pookie's 18 mth and my 30th birthday, we found out we were expecting Bear. Our au natural baby. We barely had to try...it only took 18 months of unprotected sex. (Unlike our other friends who pretty much just look at each other naked and are pregnant) Then, when Bear was 21 months, the stick turned blue again.(Who needs condoms when your body refuses to get pregnant!?!) #3 was on the way...again sans drugs. And we got excited. Then really scared. Then we started thinking about names. And I felt sick, and swollen and all those other lovely symptoms. But, being the negative thinker that I am, I started pushing for an early ultrasound to make sure that the baby was alright. It wasn't. No heartbeat. Betrayed by my body again. So, surgery and recovery in the midst of a summer camp season on the Sunshine Coast. No more #3 and left with the diagnosis that it probably will happen again if I get pregnant. So, we decided that 2 was great. They are beautiful, smart and healthy. Lots of people can't have 2, let go of the dream of 3.

But here is the thing: I still want 3. Every week I look at the belly of our caregiver who got pregnant about the same time I did. She looks beautiful, she has got the cute little 1st baby belly (cause we all know that the #3 belly is a little...ummm...different) And I think, dammit. I was supposed to have 3.

A sensitive soul

Some people call Bear a wimp, others call her a fraidy cat, and others just call her a mama's girl. I've decided that Bear is a sensitive soul. And I'm OK with that. In fact, the next person who calls her a negative name is going to see the full potential of a Mamabear. The reality of Bear's life is that a lot of things make her nervous: Dogs, cats, pumpkins, strange men, a room full of people, loud unknown noises, Pookie pretending to be a monster, and the list goes on. She doesn't often wander off without me in a strange place or a known place. Bear is easily overwhelmed and needs to be held to be comforted.
The other side of Bear is this: she is a cuddler, loves hugs and kisses, is sensitive to the moods of others and tries to comfort them, loves to smile and laugh, is fearless in climbing, jumping and swinging, falls down and gets back up, loves to touch gently and says I love you all the time.
A friend recently went to a conference where they learned that we are raising a generation of emotionally neutral children. In a world where TV and gaming dominate, researchers are finding that even though we can learn to increase our physical reflexes, we can never increase our emotional reflexes to stimulus. So, in order to compensate for that, we begin to 'flatline' our emotional responses. Making us incapable of showing any real emotional depth. You can see that in abused children or those that commit unspeakable crimes and show no remorse. Is that what we want for our kids?
Not me. I am raising a sensitive soul. And I'm proud of it.

Halloween fun

There are two things that I have always loved about Halloween, candy and carving pumpkins. Anyone that knows my husband and I knows that we are addicted to candy...all sorts of different candy. We are Dutch, raised on chocolate for breakfast and a culture that thinks a sandwich of white bread, lots of butter and brown sugar is perfectly fine. We are the parents that will always have candy in the house, although we try and eat it after the girls go to bed. My point is, and I do have one, is this....My kids are NOT going to be those kids who never eat sugar. They are not going to be those kids who at church potlucks or birthday parties are frantically stuffing their pockets full of candy because they are deprived at home. Nope, my kids are going to be the discerning type, who know what kind of candy they want and just take a couple because it is no big deal. Bear actually loves the idea of candy, but never eats it all. Pookie, however, is showing signs of her heritage and a love of the sweet. The second thing I love about Halloween are pumpkins. I love carving pumpkins. When I was younger, I used to doodle different pumpkin faces at school. I would agonize over which face I was going to commit too. Then the search for the perfect pumpkin began. So this year, I decide to share my love of pumpkins with my daughters. Out of the 3 pumpkins we picked from the patch, 2 were rotten. Bad pumpkin season on the Wet Coast! Pookie and I drew a couple of faces and settled on a traditional 2 triangle eyes, triangle nose and a big smile with 2 square teeth. I went outside to get the pumpkin, and that is when the drama began...

Bear had a traumatic experience at the pumpkin patch this year. She was terrified of the pumpkin and corn people dancing around the patch. She screamed the whole time we were there and would not let go of me. It was so bad that we had to go to McD for the rest of her birthday celebration. Apparently, a real pumpkin was just as scary for Bear and she began crying when we brought the pumpkin in the house. I comforted her (like any good mama) and she calmed down...only to completely freak out when I drew the face on. Pookie was dancing with excitement and Bear was climbing the walls in fear. The ultimate Mama dilemma, disappoint Pookie by not carving the pumpkin or have a crying Bear for the day? I looked at Pookie and I looked at Bear...then I picked up the knife and began carving, praying that Bear's therapy would not bankrupt us! Amidst Bear's freaking out, Pookie and I gleefully pulled out pumpkin guts, carved our happy face and found a candle to light it up. Pookie ran around the house to get in dark and I struck the match and suddenly found Bear scrambling up my leg, a quivering mass of fear. We couldn't get Bear to calm down, so the pumpkin was banished to our balcony, facing the other way so Bear couldn't see it. Maybe next year, we'll actually get to see our pumpkin face!



***I must admit, my very favorite thing to do is trick or treat with toddlers/preschoolers. I am convinced that they are the cutest! We went with 4 other families and we had 10 kids all dressed up as various animals. Pookie and Bear were a unicorn and giraffe, we had 2 zebras, 3 lions, a cow, tiger and a little chicken and kitty. So great. Plus, people really like seeing little ones at their door, I swear that they just dumped the bowl into the kids' bags. Quite a stash for mom and dad..I mean, for the girls****