The Parenting Paradox

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, I am not really maternal. I love my kids, really! I would give up anything for them, lay down my life for them...but sometimes I need a break from them. I enjoy quiet, reading, music..and the cool thing is that they are getting to that age where they do too! And they can play for chunks of time on their own or together. It is a thing of beauty.

Having said all that, I often feel like I'm bumbling my way through this mother gig. I like dropping off my kids at school and picking them up when they are done. I don't want to be at the school "helping" with everything...reading class, special events etc. I want to go drink coffee and hear about their day when they get home. Not be in class with them, or peeking in the window to make sure they eat snack and lunch or that they have friends to play with. (another post on that later). I don't mind if they run out our back gate to the park a couple of minutes before I do. But let me tell you that other parents do! I can see them eyeing my kids and looking around wondering who the delinquent parent is that let them go by themselves. How dare I!??!!

A few months ago I read an article of a mother who was arrested for child endangerment. Her crime? Letting her 10 year son walk 2 blocks to the park for his baseball game unattended! She had given him a cell phone to call home when he arrived at the park and she was actually heading there herself in a few minutes. But other parents called the police when they saw him walking down the street by himself! The mother was vilified in the neighbourhood for allowing her son to do what she did when she was a kid! (minus the cell phone of course).

In June I was pulled over by the police due to a mistake made by ICBC. Apparently they had cancelled my license. However, they had never contacted me about it, so for 3 months I'd been driving with a cancelled license. In 5 minutes there were 3 police cars surrounded my van on a main street of my little town. I was accused of endangering my children (who were in the van with me) and threatened with arrest and the removal of my girls. Hubby was at work and so in tears I called a friend who lived around the corner. He came and talked with the police, quite angry with the way they were handling it. (Jay is a calm man, so this was quite something!). Eventually, the girls went with Jay and we got stuff sorted out. But I couldn't help thinking that I couldn't be the worst mom in the town. Certainly not worthy of 3 cops and an obvious case of paperwork gone awry.

That is why I feel both convicted and freed by this article in Time Magazine. Read it. Tell me what YOU think.