It has become glaringly obvious to me that I lack a certain parenting gene. To be clear, I actually lack a lot of parenting genes. I am a schizophrenic parent, loving and kind one minute, a raving lunatic the next. Then I read ACJ's post on God as a parent and realized that God kinda is too...especially in the Old Testament. It must have something to do with the whole Love and Grace thing.
Anyways, the gene I desperately lack is the "Letting it Go" gene. You know, the gene that lets you survey your parenting domain with sereneness, embracing the chaos and beauty around you without batting a eyelash. Lots of my friends have this gene. I asked one good friend who has five kids how she does it and she replied that she doesn't even hear it. Doesn't hear it??? How is that even possible? It is like I'm wired to notice/see/hear EVERYTHING! And once I hear/see/notice it, I can't not engage. (I know, a double negative. Whatever.)
I have noticed this lack of gene in the last months when the girls have suddenly decided that everything the other does is purposely designed to RUIN THEIR LIVES. Like breathing. Or looking. Or existing. I'm pretty sure that the girls' bickering non stop is only slightly less painful to me than taking one of Hubby's power tools and drilling straight into my head. And as someone who can't let go, by the eighth hour of being awake and together with them makes me less than an ideal person to be around.
I think that if I can at least emulate the characteristics of the Letting It Go gene, every one's lives will be much better. Maybe I should go and re-read the Old Testament for a model of how God freaks out, then loves, and lets stuff go. You know, just for kicks and giggles and parenting help.
4 comments:
A) You're hanging out with the wrong people. I've got a great collection of parents who lose their shit with regularity that I'm happy to share with you.
B)Hosea and Jeremiah are some of God's most inconsistent moments so far... you'll have to let me know what you think.
C)Get a Mommy's Treat Jar. Every time they Poke the Bear (awesome Modern Family episode reference, FYI), help yourself to a treat. Gummy bears seem to be taking the edge off for me these days.
I'm sorry... did you say something... I didn't quite hear you. Oh the challenges of parenting. I yearn for more love & grace to bestow on my family. Choose your battles my friend... we all have things we need to "let go". Your ability to hear/see/notice everything is a gift. Don't let it go :)
ACJ, I need more of you and your people in my life! I am taking an OT survey class in the fall. Maybe I'll write a paper on it. A mommy treat jar??? Hmmm...
Tracy, it's good to have you in my life as a reminder to let it go!
My youngest has started regularly referring to any of the others of us as Dumb Bullies if we so much as hint toward a "no". My eldest favours the youngest over the middle in a very obvious way. The middle feels everything so extremely we are all exhausted being around her.
Today I actually left the house and hid in the yard to get away from them.
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