Signs of mourning

People grieve in different ways.  Some hold it all in, others let it all hang out.  Some seek to comfort in the midst of their own grieving, others lash out.  It has been interesting to me to see how my decision to leave has affected so many people.  The reactions have been varied.  Some have been hurtful, people questioning our decision making skills, making disparaging comments about my ministry and casting doubt on my ability to adjust to "life outside of this community."  Some reactions have been heart wrenching, seeing the front row of my youth sobbing during the announcement.

But, today I was blessed by 2 women who I considered friends and mentors.  They are beautiful, intelligent women, who have a passion for life and ministry.  They sat with me in a coffee shop and just listened.  They heard what I had to say, they saw the struggle it was to make the decision and they affirmed me.  Ute reminded me that as mothers we can go through seasons of ministry depending on the needs of our families.  And that it is OK to let go and realize that I may be in a different season of ministry.  That meant a lot since her 2 sons are in my youth group!  It also made me realize that I've been a pastor for 9 years, and it has shaped me in so many ways.  I think part of my mourning may be the letting go of that "title" (which really means nothing to me in the whole grand scheme of things...but still is part of me like being "Pookie & Bear's mom...does that make sense?)

This should be an interesting few weeks!