Downward mobility

I've been mulling over in my mind this concept of downward mobility for a couple of months. I've resisted blogging about it simply because I don't want to come across as preachy. Or holy. Or as super sacrificial. Rather, it is simply a recognition that at this time, in this space and season of our lives, this path seems like the right choice for our family.****

So here goes...

Around Easter I was gifted with a CD from friends of ours. The CD, 'Under the Shadow' was written and recorded in their living room in a little cabin on a island off the coast. Tom is a gifted musician paired with a wordsmith for a wife, Karen. One of their songs, Unless the Lord builds is written based on Psalm 127. On one of my drives into work, this song implanted in my heart and I spent the day reading and re-reading this psalm. Then I began thinking of our family and what this psalm meant in relation to our lives together.

Without a doubt, having me work as much as I do has taken a toll on my family. I can see it in the girls and the odd time in Hubby. But I'd rather work than have Hubby do multiple jobs as he has done in the past. The reality is that though we have been blessed with the housing/life we have, it takes at least 1 3/4 of an income to maintain it. And that is living pretty simply in suburban terms. And to be perfectly honest, it is stressful...I know we are not the only ones like this.

However, what I began to realize is that we DO NOT have to live like this. Without a doubt, God has blessed both Hubby and I with great jobs and with great employers who recognize our desire to put our family first. So how is it not enough? Quite simply, our house is killing us. We make enough money to live comfortably if our housing cost was reduced even by 1/4.

And perhaps an even bigger issue was the fact that our beautiful and brilliant daughter Pookie is showing some of the same signs and challenges of a learning disability that Hubby has. Both Pookie and Hubby are very, very smart..off the charts smart...if you test them orally. Ask them to write or read and they both have a very hard time deciphering words. Hubby was tested in his mid twenties, but suffered through years of schooling that reinforced his weaknesses instead of his strengths. Now in graduate school, Hubby can often get better grades than I because his thoughts and ideas are strong.(and his wife edits his papers for him...she's a keeper that one!) Back to Pookie, the school has identified her as a student that extra help/assessments/support. The cost of doing all the testing runs in the thousands of dollars. And then we'd need to get her tutoring, 2 or 3 times a week, which would run hundreds of dollars a month. Since we are just making ends meet now, to add those costs into the equation would quickly drive us into the negative.

So, after weeks of praying through Psalm 127, Hubby and I have decided to sell our townhouse and go back to renting. (the story of our rental will have to wait till another post, but it is totally God-orchestrated!) By renting and downsizing our "stuff", we will be able to support Pookie in her learning, offer both Pookie and Bear the opportunity to try different activities like dance or art classes and allow us to save money for the future. And even to enjoy a coffee or dinner out guilt free! More importantly, it lets us rest and savour both the blessing of work and the blessing of family without one sacrificing for the other.

The scary part of this whole decision was letting our parents know. The general thought is to always move onwards and upwards, gathering assets as we go. And there is a bit of sense of failure that we cannot do that. However, both sets of parents have been INCREDIBLY supportive and we are so thankful for that. (I think telling them we were going to sell everything in 3 years to go travelling eased the shock of us selling now to rent. At least we aren't leaving yet!)

In the end, I can honestly say that there is a sense of relief and burden lifting. Hubby and I are different in many ways, but we've always viewed life the same way. In this season it is all about our family. Not about giving the girls everything they want, but providing everything they need. Not about working ourselves so hard that we have little to give each other, but working enough to give each other best of ourselves. And trusting that God honors that and that we honor Him through that.

***I was going to wait till I could articulate this in a poetic and winsome way, but that could take forever...so word vomit it is!***