This past week.

I have good friends and family. I was reminded of this in countless emails, facebook messages and phone calls asking about the results of the tests. The reality is that getting a medical test 1 day before a major long weekend holiday is perhaps THE WORST TIME EVER to get a test. I have not heard anything yet, but may in the next couple days. On the bruise front, I've had several folks ask me gently how I got the bruises...because they really do look like someone gave them to me. So I'm thankful for the cool weather so that I'm not tempted to wear T-shirts and shorts, cause I'm pretty sure that someone would call the authorities about my beloved Hubby! The best news might be that in the first time in 6+ times of traveling to this particular airport, I was NOT searched. I just breezed through with barely a glance in my direction. Victory!

Last week I spent a good portion of it at our denominational assembly in Banff.(tough life, I know!) It was full of 15 hour days and with it came several times where I was teaching and preaching/speaking. And although every time it felt as though my heart would pound out of my chest, it went really well. Especially since there were a lot of older folk/conservative viewpoints, I felt nothing but really affirmed and embraced. And I don't speak of easy things. I often say really hard things in challenging our churches to reframe how they look at community and hospitality and welcome. I considered it a success when I had several very crotchy people come up to me and admit that I may be 'on to something'.

But perhaps the highlight/reminder that stood out to me is this...I'm kinda good at this teaching, preaching, speaking thing. And I type this not because I want some sort of kudos from my faithful readers, but more as a challenge to myself to accept this part of me. The part that loves to learn and to share that with others. To speak truth about the Truth. To challenge people to live differently and in that to challenge myself to do the same. Which then circles me back to the fact that I currently go to a church that doesn't nessarily affirms me that gifting. But that is another post altogether.

And I'd be remiss if I didn't speak about the good people I hung out with in Banff. I am both thankful that I know them and that they are in this denomination serving. We had discussions about creationism, salvation, leadership in faith communities, how to make the best deep fried food, Canucks and what we should drink that night. You can't ask for better, more generous folks that those that I can call friends. Looking forward to November when both Hubby and I head to Banff. (FYI, a lot of people think I have a mythical husband since he has never been able to join me. It has sparked some interesting rumors though)

I am glad to be home.

Superpowers, Part Deux

First off, I need to say that I don't know the results of the scan. When I know...you'll eventually know.

The scan was relatively easy since I am not claustrophobic. At one point the machine was about a centimetre from my nose for about 4 minutes. Of course my nose was itching unbearably during that time, but you need to stay still for the entirety of the scan...45 min! It was pretty cool to watch my skeleton light up on screen. Until they noticed I was watching and turned it so that I couldn't see. ( I should have brought my friend T who used to be a Nuc-Med Tech till she used her superpower of fertility to create 5 cute kids!)

As I was getting ready to leave I noticed a sign that said that if you were planning on traveling within a week of the scan, you needed to get a letter from the technician. So I asked the tech why I would need a letter. She informed me that I would most likely set off the radiation detectors at the airport and the letter gets me through. Well crap. I already have that superpower...you know, the "you've been randomly selected, let me put my hand down your pants to make sure you are not a terrorist" power. I use it all the time when I'm traveling...just to make the experience a bit more fun. The last thing I need is to have that power ENHANCED!!! (just as an aside, another side effect I noticed was massive bruising on parts of my body. I'm pretty sure I haven't been beaten with a baseball bat or run into walls...so I'm thinking it might be some sort of reaction??!!?? I'm sure as hell NOT googling it though.)

Anyways, I'm going east of the Rockies on Wednesday. I'll let you know how it goes!

Easter dresses and the tree of Life

The girls always surprise me with their desire to having matching dresses. Here's this year's version, a gift from Hubby's parents.

This year at the church we did an art installation of sorts. Good Friday we had the image of a barren dead tree (which I don't have a picture of). Then this morning was the tree with a blue background, a sign of life

Then folks were invited to come and place their handprints on the tree as a reminder that we are a community together.

The final image. A perfect visual of Easter.

I'm hoping for superpowers....

For months I've been waiting for a specialist's appointment to find out why my body sometimes feels 37 and sometimes feels 87. Granted, I haven't had a pain free day since I tore my Achilles tendon (5 years ago), but the pain has upped its game these last 2 years. If ibuprofen came in bulk, I be a happy girl.

Any way, I had my appointment on Tuesday. The doctor poked and prodded, asked questions, and poked and prodded some more. Then looked at me and said, 'we need to talk'..and then he paused and looked down into my file. For like 2 minutes! Honestly, I thought he was going to tell me that I was dying. Or crazy. Cause I'm not quite sure which is worse. Finally he looked at me and told me that he wanted extensive bloodwork done and a bone scan. The scan involves injecting radioactive goop into me (my words, not his!) and having the goop adhere to my bones so that I can be scanned head to toe looking for 'abnormalities'.

So, I headed off to get blood drawn and prepared myself to wait another few months for the scan. Then my phone rang an hour later. It was the doctor's office informing me that I'd been bumped to the top of the list and that I was to go in Thursday (today) for the scan. As I hung up, I wasn't sure if I should marvel at the efficiency of my doctor or be scared out of my mind that I've been booked in so quickly. I've gone back and forth between the two in these last 48 hours.
Then I made the tactical error of googling bone scan. Sheer stupidity on my part since it just made it worse. Curse you internets!

So, I've gotten my shot already, which I consider a major victory since just as I walked into the clinic, there was a woman violently throwing up from her test. My tech assured me that it wouldn't happen to me and it hasn't. Yet. In an hour I go for the scan which involves lying still for an hour.

In trying to look at the bright side of things (cause we all know I excel at that), I am hoping for superpowers due to radiaiton exposure...kinda like the Incredible Hulk, or Spider man or the Fantastic Four....(knowledge obtained through Google, yet again. This time for the good.)

I'll keep you posted!

A prayer for Holy Week

I thank you, Jesus, for becoming a human being
so I do not have to pretend or try to be God.
I thank you, Jesus, for becoming finite and limited
so I do not have to pretend that I am infinite or limitless.
I thank you, crucified God for becoming mortal
so I do not have to try to make myself immortal.
I thank you Jesus for becoming inferior
so that I do not have to pretend that I am superior to anyone.
I thank you for being crucified outside the walls,
for being expelled and excluded like the sinners and outcasts,
so you can meet me where I feel that I am,
always outside the walls of worthiness.

I thank you for becoming weak, Lord Jesus,
so I don't have to be strong.
I thank you for being willing to be considered imperfect and strange,
so I do not have to be perfect and normal.
I thank you Jesus for willing to be disapproved of
so I do not have to try so hard to be approved and liked.
I thank you for being considered a failure
so I do not have to live my life trying to pretend I'm a success.
I thank you for being wrong by the standards of religion and state
so I do not have to be right anywhere....even in my own mind.
~Richard Rohr

The Civil Wars

Blog silence

"Please pay attention not just to the words, but to the silent spaces between the words, That's where the shift happens."

~Eckhart Tolle

I've lost my words and am waiting for the shift. I'll be back. Eventually.