I have lived in a world free of ear infections. I listened to stories of friends and their children who seem to get them every 2 weeks with sympathy and a tiny bit of smugness at my ear infection-free life. Then it happened.
Bear has been snot nosed and coughing for a few days. This afternoon she went for a nap and woke up screaming about her left ear. So, we packed up and headed to the walk in clinic. Sure enough, it was infected. The doctor made me look. "See that all that red? That's not supposed to be there" OK, good. So prescription in hand, we trekked down another block to get the medicine. The whole time Bear is crying, 'I'm really sick Mom'...Ugh, it breaks your heart! The problem is that Bear hates taking medicine and right now doesn't want anything. So, Hubby (who by that time had gotten my message regarding Bear and wisely came home early) had to hold her down as we forced the meds into her. Then she promptly fell asleep on his shoulder after covering his shoulder with mucus.
It was right about then I decided to order pizza for dinner.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Earth hour
Yesterday we celebrated/observed/did the hipster thing, Earth hour. We planned all day for it, even leaving our friends house so that we could get home. Of course that meant putting the girls to bed in the pitch black, only to hear Pookie cry out for her night light. (Eco friendly bulb in nightlight thank goodness!)
So, girls to bed early, bedroom aglow with candlelight and what do we do? Set up Ikea furniture of course! Yes, just like in the olden days....oh wait...Any way, we had bought a new desk at Ikea that day. Of course, we only went to Ikea for a picture frame and came home with bedding, a bodum, chalk, a roll of paper, an as-is dining room table and a desk.
Needless to say, it was an adventure. Hubby and I have very different ways of going about things. I like to look at instructions, he doesn't. I like to do it step by step, he leapfrogs. I like to use finesse, he uses brute strength. And nothing is better than looking for that last thingamajig by candlelight! However, amidst giggles, sighs, a few curses, a bit of compromise and a frantic search through the packaging for the missing piece, we set it up. And it is mighty fine.
And today I managed to frame one of my favorite Pookie creations...which is why we went to Ikea in the first place!
So, girls to bed early, bedroom aglow with candlelight and what do we do? Set up Ikea furniture of course! Yes, just like in the olden days....oh wait...Any way, we had bought a new desk at Ikea that day. Of course, we only went to Ikea for a picture frame and came home with bedding, a bodum, chalk, a roll of paper, an as-is dining room table and a desk.
Needless to say, it was an adventure. Hubby and I have very different ways of going about things. I like to look at instructions, he doesn't. I like to do it step by step, he leapfrogs. I like to use finesse, he uses brute strength. And nothing is better than looking for that last thingamajig by candlelight! However, amidst giggles, sighs, a few curses, a bit of compromise and a frantic search through the packaging for the missing piece, we set it up. And it is mighty fine.
And today I managed to frame one of my favorite Pookie creations...which is why we went to Ikea in the first place!
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
The Open Door
Every Wednesday morning for the past 3 years, I've gone to the Open Door. It is a ministry for single moms that offers licensed care for babies and preschoolers, coffee, free clothes, bible studies and a great lunch. But it offers so much more than that...it offers a community where moms can come and share their struggles with kids, work and relationships. And almost every time I leave the church, I am thankful that I have a husband who loves me and his girls. Because I am often counting down the minutes until Hubby walks through the door and gives me "a break". More so when the girls were both in diapers, but still even now! I can't imagine going day after day without a break. Without someone to share the load of life with kids. That is what these moms do, day after day.
This January I was handed the reins to the program. The woman who started it 18 years ago got very sick and was unable to continue. In desperation, they asked me to take it on. Suckers. Any way, this morning I noticed that one of our regulars has been MIA for several weeks. So I gave her a call this morning and encouraged her to come. (for those of you who know me, this was a big step due to my phone phobia!) Olga is a Russian immigrant who is on disability and suffers from depression. She can be very difficult to be with and often asks for help but then doesn't listen. I taught on a Thomas Merton prayer that has been very meaningful to me for a long time and it sparked an amazing time of sharing, bonding and prayer. Olga actually left with a smile on her face. But the best part was how the other moms really came alongside her and encouraged her. Most of the moms who come to our program actually don't have preschool kids, their kids are in school. It is the feeling of community and belonging that keeps them coming. The sense that there are other women willing to hear their stories, give encouragement and to speak God's word. For most of the moms, this is their church.
It is my prayer that more moms find us. That they are able to let go of any 'fear' of church and come in to find a community. It is my prayer that we are a place that extends the welcome of Jesus and the welcome of the single mom. And it is my prayer that I continue to learn from our moms.
This January I was handed the reins to the program. The woman who started it 18 years ago got very sick and was unable to continue. In desperation, they asked me to take it on. Suckers. Any way, this morning I noticed that one of our regulars has been MIA for several weeks. So I gave her a call this morning and encouraged her to come. (for those of you who know me, this was a big step due to my phone phobia!) Olga is a Russian immigrant who is on disability and suffers from depression. She can be very difficult to be with and often asks for help but then doesn't listen. I taught on a Thomas Merton prayer that has been very meaningful to me for a long time and it sparked an amazing time of sharing, bonding and prayer. Olga actually left with a smile on her face. But the best part was how the other moms really came alongside her and encouraged her. Most of the moms who come to our program actually don't have preschool kids, their kids are in school. It is the feeling of community and belonging that keeps them coming. The sense that there are other women willing to hear their stories, give encouragement and to speak God's word. For most of the moms, this is their church.
It is my prayer that more moms find us. That they are able to let go of any 'fear' of church and come in to find a community. It is my prayer that we are a place that extends the welcome of Jesus and the welcome of the single mom. And it is my prayer that I continue to learn from our moms.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Good Friday...in three parts...
Part 1
The doorbell rings early Friday morning. It's our regular babysitter whom we forgot to cancel since Hubby had the day off. But we quickly decided to have some kid free time and gleefully headed off to a coffeeshop. Then the skytrain. Then the mall. As we are wandering, we spotted the Good Feet store. If you are from our neck of the woods, you would know the commercials that run for the Good Feet store. The testimonials of how the orthopedics saved folks from immense/chronic foot and back pain. You would also know that all the folks are 65+. Hubby and I are not 65...we are holding on to our early thirties. However, we often feel 65+ due to foot and back pain. (A intimate encounter with a pickup truck for Hubby, another volleyball injury for me) So we made stupid jokes about going in, then actually went in. I just about kneeled over at the sheer ugliness of shoes and the vast amounts of money that they wanted for them. The woman, noticing the sheen of perspiration and frightened looks on our faces, quickly came over and started her pitch. A couple of tests later, a trial pair of ortho. insoles for Hubby and nearly $500, we walked out of the Good Feet store. Hubby is well on his way to walking without pain. As for me, I headed to the nearest grocery store for a $13 pair of Dr. Scholls.
Part 2
Friday is swim day for Hubby and the girls, and because I didn't have a formal youth event, I joined in. It was fun to see how much Pookie is loving the water and how much she is willing to do. Because during the 10 swim lessons she had, she cried enough to fill a pool! We headed for a nutritious meal at the Golden Arches where I tried a salad. Which, by the way, is ridiculous. If you are going to the arches, get the bad-for-you food.
Part 3
We got home in time for me to head to our Good Friday service. It is quite a beautiful candle lit service with readings, hymns and reflections from different writers. I was just getting into it when Luis and a friend walked in. This are guys from the neighbourhood who struggle with substance abuse. To say that these guys were hammered is being quite kind. Luis tends to get loud and flirty, but you can usually get him to quiet down. His friend was in no mood to do that. In fact, he was quite loud, swearing constantly and acting aggressive. Despite the efforts of some spanish speaking folks, we couldn't get him calm. Imagine a darkened sanctuary, a reflective atmosphere and a guy dropping F- bombs every time we prayed or were quiet. Needless to say, it was distracting and a bit scary when I thought I might get hit. Of course, as folks walked out of the service they made sure that I knew that they were displeased. (Whatever, I'm the youth pastor...I did the best I could. There were other leadership folks/pastors there too) As I was walking home and trying to process all that had happened, I was struck by a thought. (a disclaimer here: I tend to resist 'spiritualizing' everything, but this thought helped me put everything into perspective) I'm pretty sure that at the foot of the cross there were people cursing at Jesus. It was not a quiet reflective moment where everyone pondered the weighty significance of what was happening. It was loud and messy. Much like the church I pastored in, worship at and find my community. This is my church. And it is messy and loud. It welcomes and creates space for those who know and love God, for those trying to figure it out, and for those whose wounds are so deep that all they can do is curse God. This is my church. And that was my Good Friday.
The doorbell rings early Friday morning. It's our regular babysitter whom we forgot to cancel since Hubby had the day off. But we quickly decided to have some kid free time and gleefully headed off to a coffeeshop. Then the skytrain. Then the mall. As we are wandering, we spotted the Good Feet store. If you are from our neck of the woods, you would know the commercials that run for the Good Feet store. The testimonials of how the orthopedics saved folks from immense/chronic foot and back pain. You would also know that all the folks are 65+. Hubby and I are not 65...we are holding on to our early thirties. However, we often feel 65+ due to foot and back pain. (A intimate encounter with a pickup truck for Hubby, another volleyball injury for me) So we made stupid jokes about going in, then actually went in. I just about kneeled over at the sheer ugliness of shoes and the vast amounts of money that they wanted for them. The woman, noticing the sheen of perspiration and frightened looks on our faces, quickly came over and started her pitch. A couple of tests later, a trial pair of ortho. insoles for Hubby and nearly $500, we walked out of the Good Feet store. Hubby is well on his way to walking without pain. As for me, I headed to the nearest grocery store for a $13 pair of Dr. Scholls.
Part 2
Friday is swim day for Hubby and the girls, and because I didn't have a formal youth event, I joined in. It was fun to see how much Pookie is loving the water and how much she is willing to do. Because during the 10 swim lessons she had, she cried enough to fill a pool! We headed for a nutritious meal at the Golden Arches where I tried a salad. Which, by the way, is ridiculous. If you are going to the arches, get the bad-for-you food.
Part 3
We got home in time for me to head to our Good Friday service. It is quite a beautiful candle lit service with readings, hymns and reflections from different writers. I was just getting into it when Luis and a friend walked in. This are guys from the neighbourhood who struggle with substance abuse. To say that these guys were hammered is being quite kind. Luis tends to get loud and flirty, but you can usually get him to quiet down. His friend was in no mood to do that. In fact, he was quite loud, swearing constantly and acting aggressive. Despite the efforts of some spanish speaking folks, we couldn't get him calm. Imagine a darkened sanctuary, a reflective atmosphere and a guy dropping F- bombs every time we prayed or were quiet. Needless to say, it was distracting and a bit scary when I thought I might get hit. Of course, as folks walked out of the service they made sure that I knew that they were displeased. (Whatever, I'm the youth pastor...I did the best I could. There were other leadership folks/pastors there too) As I was walking home and trying to process all that had happened, I was struck by a thought. (a disclaimer here: I tend to resist 'spiritualizing' everything, but this thought helped me put everything into perspective) I'm pretty sure that at the foot of the cross there were people cursing at Jesus. It was not a quiet reflective moment where everyone pondered the weighty significance of what was happening. It was loud and messy. Much like the church I pastored in, worship at and find my community. This is my church. And it is messy and loud. It welcomes and creates space for those who know and love God, for those trying to figure it out, and for those whose wounds are so deep that all they can do is curse God. This is my church. And that was my Good Friday.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
S.A.D?
I went to the doctor's today because I feel blah...no serious illness, ache or pain, just blah. It is very difficult to explain blah to a doctor. They want vomiting! sharp pain! swollen glands! I think the doctor was a tad disappointed to hear my general uneasiness over my blah. To her credit, she gave me a through check up, poked and prodded here and there (but not there, know what I mean ladies??) We chatted a bit about SAD, seasonal affect disorder. She asked if I'd been on any drugs/antidepressants. Which I haven't. So the decision was made to do a round of blood work to basically check everything that could possibly wrong with me. Sweet. That should be at least 4 vials, with fasting beforehand. That will happen next week. I'll get a call if something "abnormal" shows up.
I almost want something to be 'wrong', so I could blame my case of blah on it. Weird and twisted, I know. I think it would be worse if there wasn't anything physically wrong with me...because then I'd have to look at my mental health. Sigh...
A good friend of mine just lost his nephew to suicide. His nephew had been suffering from SAD and decided to leave church early and hang himself. He was 19. Needless to say, this sparked a conversation between me and hubby around the topic. Hubby asked if I ever felt bad enough to do that. I quickly reassured him that NO, I'd never felt that urge. But, I do feel the urge to disconnect from life. Just disappear to a place where no one knows me. No emotional or physical demands put upon me. Which I believed can be just as devastating as ending one's life for those around the person.
However, I know God has been looking out for me. There are 3 tangible things to prove it: Hubby, Pookie and Bear. The love of these 3 keep me connected in this world. Force me to look outward instead inward. Physically engage me with kisses, hugs and hands slipped into mine. They are the reason I hauled my butt into the doctor's to figure out what the deal was.
The good news is that I can almost taste spring. The cherry blossoms are out, our little garden is full of daffodils and crocuses and we are headed on a mini vacation to Keats. Right after my quick trip to Winnipeg. Where the temperature is -30, but sunny!
I almost want something to be 'wrong', so I could blame my case of blah on it. Weird and twisted, I know. I think it would be worse if there wasn't anything physically wrong with me...because then I'd have to look at my mental health. Sigh...
A good friend of mine just lost his nephew to suicide. His nephew had been suffering from SAD and decided to leave church early and hang himself. He was 19. Needless to say, this sparked a conversation between me and hubby around the topic. Hubby asked if I ever felt bad enough to do that. I quickly reassured him that NO, I'd never felt that urge. But, I do feel the urge to disconnect from life. Just disappear to a place where no one knows me. No emotional or physical demands put upon me. Which I believed can be just as devastating as ending one's life for those around the person.
However, I know God has been looking out for me. There are 3 tangible things to prove it: Hubby, Pookie and Bear. The love of these 3 keep me connected in this world. Force me to look outward instead inward. Physically engage me with kisses, hugs and hands slipped into mine. They are the reason I hauled my butt into the doctor's to figure out what the deal was.
The good news is that I can almost taste spring. The cherry blossoms are out, our little garden is full of daffodils and crocuses and we are headed on a mini vacation to Keats. Right after my quick trip to Winnipeg. Where the temperature is -30, but sunny!
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Books, books and more books
We've hit a new stage in Bear's development. The one that makes us go to the library every - single - day. Initially, I was ecstatic at my daughter's desire to read. Actually, I'm still loving the fact that the girls want to read, but there is a point where I just want them to figure it out or to be happy looking at the pretty pictures! I am a reader, Hubby is not. But he was worried that our kids wouldn't be good readers or even want to read. No worries on that front big guy...our girls love to read. Often the same book, over and over and over....
I am definitely rediscovering some of my old favorites like the Hungry Caterpillar and Mr Pine's purple house. A good friend directed me to the funniest kid (but really meant for grown ups) books featuring a pigeon with an attitude. There is a series of books written by Laura Numeroff " if you give..." Another favorite author is Robert Munsch. Seriously, it fun to read these books, even if Bear and Pookie wander off.
Got any favorites?
I am definitely rediscovering some of my old favorites like the Hungry Caterpillar and Mr Pine's purple house. A good friend directed me to the funniest kid (but really meant for grown ups) books featuring a pigeon with an attitude. There is a series of books written by Laura Numeroff " if you give..." Another favorite author is Robert Munsch. Seriously, it fun to read these books, even if Bear and Pookie wander off.
Got any favorites?
Friday, March 7, 2008
Bad wife moment...or two...
Today was one of those days where I just needed to duct tape my mouth shut. Hubby and I haven't seen each other a whole lot because he is working crazy long hours and I'm jetting off here and there, plus wrangling the girls. So this morning, we had 10 minutes together and for about 9 1/2 minutes we were at odds over how I was disciplining Bear. Granted, I probably wasn't handling the situation as well as I could have...but the kid had just head butted me and I was a tad grumpy about it. So, instead of a loving goodbye, I heard the door close, ummm, forcefully. Then, since its Friday, its swimming with Daddy day for the girls. So the minute he gets home, the girls are up and ready to go. He doesn't really get a break. However, since I was in fine form, I managed to piss him off again over something that is really none of my business. (His work stuff)
So here I sit, blogging this because it seems to be the best option instead of wallowing in guilt. I think these kinds of days happen when we don't have that time together to debrief. So I try to cram it all in the few minutes we have and it comes out all wrong. Ugh! I'm preparing myself for an awkward conversation after youth group tonight. I'd phone him now, but I'm pretty sure he will see my number on call display and not pick up.
I don't blame him. I wouldn't pick up either.
So here I sit, blogging this because it seems to be the best option instead of wallowing in guilt. I think these kinds of days happen when we don't have that time together to debrief. So I try to cram it all in the few minutes we have and it comes out all wrong. Ugh! I'm preparing myself for an awkward conversation after youth group tonight. I'd phone him now, but I'm pretty sure he will see my number on call display and not pick up.
I don't blame him. I wouldn't pick up either.
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