Hospital epiphany

Last night I spent hours in an ER waiting room with a set of parents of one of our camp staff.  'L' had taken a wicked fall during wake boarding and had been airlifted off of Hubby's island by helicopter to the city.  She was on a spinal board and had some numbness in her legs and little movement in her neck.  The fear was that she had a major spinal injury.  I had been on a ferry home when I got the message of the accident and headed straight off the ferry to the hospital to sit with the parents.  As I met the parents and sat with them, I realized something...

Being a parent is so much more than birthing, feeding, changing and playing with your children.  It is the willingness to let them go to explore, learn and play on their own with the knowledge that you cannot protect them from this world.  That you have now made yourself so vulnerable to the possibility of loss or hurt happening to your child.  That one day you could be sitting in a ER waiting room feeling the sharp pain of worry and grief....Yet, we do have children for the greater possibility of the love and friendship of a child.  Of the possibility of memories and family, laughter and love.  Because even though you may have to sit in an ER, you know it has been completely worth it just to have this child in your life.

I feel like I've always try to guard myself from getting to emotionally attached to people for fear of getting hurt.  But once you marry, but even more so, once you have children, that is gone.  You are attached, sometimes almost painfully so.  You are vulnerable in so many ways.  It is that stripping down of walls that make life so much more vivid and real.  The ability to love freely and unconditionally happens so much easier with children.  To me, it also gives me a glimpse of God.  Watching 'L's parents last night, you could see the love on their faces.  You knew that they would have traded spots with her gladly, borne her pain and worry themselves if they could.  That is a reflection of God.  His Love for us is so much more than we can imagine...but we can catch glimpses of it when we watch a parent and their child.

At 1 am last night 'L' was released from hospital to go home and rest.  She already wants to be back at camp with her kids...Her parents have different ideas....