Made my day.

This morning as I was standing in line for my coffee, sugar and fat fix, I felt a tap on my shoulder. Turning behind me I was greeted with the smiles of 8 ladies. The one who tapped me on the shoulder was so apologetic for disturbing me, but they were dying to know where I got my hair cut. They were beyond cute in their enthusiasm as I told them that usually a little Swedish girl cuts it, but this time was a guy at the same salon in the village. They asked a bunch more questions as I continued to let other people go in front me of in the sugar/caffeine/fat lineup, then came the question that usually deflates the person asking...is your hair naturally curly?

This question around my hair style choice cracks me up EVERY SINGLE TIME! Because without fail, every woman that 'wants' my hair style has thin, fine, usually dyed, pin straight hair. Pretty much the complete opposite of my hair, so I usually end up shrugging and admitting to cutting the curls out of my hair. Then come the sighs and gasps that I would DO such a thing, then I admit to my general laziness around hair care which is why I have this hair style. Finally they let me go, but the one woman put her hand on my arm and said, 'We just needed to talk with you because you are so beautiful and we loved the way you looked this morning.'

OK, I know that I shouldn't be getting my self worth/esteem boost from other people. I should be confident in myself and blah, blah, blah. Truthfully, I was feeling pretty good this morning, considering I had less than 5 hours sleep, had already gone to the states for gas, did banking and it was only 7:15am. I was wearing clothes that are less mini van mom and more like 'feeling like a woman'. BUT, it seriously made my day to talk to those ladies. I'm pretty sure I grinned like a fool the whole drive into work while singing along to Mumford & Sons.

Then I ran into this article and this one and had to stop and think about how I feel about it. Sure, I don't want my girls to think that it is all about the outer appearance, but I do want them to be confident in who they are and what their bodies are like. But it is lovely to have someone, anyone, give a genuine complement. Such a tightrope we walk as females!

A wordsmith for a friend

I have a friend whose gift with words is quite amazing. Our connection started off a bit bumpy all those years ago in the ghetto when I was a lowly intern and she was a rockstar in ministry. However, I knew that I was making inroads when I gained the coveted invitation to her house to watch E.R. each Wednesday night. Having gone separate paths for years, we reconnected via the interwebs a couple of years ago. Lo and behold we had shared similar trying times in having tiny humans and in the realization that perhaps this parenting gig that we were so desperate for was actually the hardest thing we have ever done.

ACJ has written many posts that I have resonated with, but HERE is one you should read. (and read the one she comments on in the post). The crazy beauty of it all is the words of her mother...the gift of writing clearly genetic in her family.

Praying "the prayer".

Today at church we got to watch 2 young kids get baptized. Their parents gave very beautiful words of blessings and the kids gave their testimonies. Both recounted clear moments at ages 4 and 8 where they said "the prayer to ask Jesus into their heart". Pookie and Bear were sitting with some friends and one of their friends asked Pookie when she prayed the prayer. I could hear Pookie hesitating over her answer, while her friend was sharing that they had done it at age 4 as well. When Pookie couldn't give a clear answer, her friend began to ask WHY in that way that only young kids can do, which is basically, "it's SO EASY..." in that tone that all parents hate. Then I heard Pookie start to make up dates, "when I was 4 too...or maybe 6.." Finally I had to say something to defuse the situation, which was mainly to redirect them to the actual baptism.

Now, in NO way was Pookie's friend trying to make her feel bad. I believe that they actually couldn't believe that Pookie hadn't prayed the prayer because Pookie obviously loves God.

But Holy S#@t, did this bring up issues for me! The biggest one is the overwhelming sense of shame that I felt radiating from Pookie. That hurt my heart because I know the love that my child has for God. Before she left for Sunday school I grabbed her and reminded her that I didn't even know about Jesus until I was 14 and that we'd talk about it later. Of course that meant I've mulled over this all day and waited till bedtime to talk to the girls.

So we chatted. I let the girls ask questions about what they saw this morning, how they felt when asked about 'praying the prayer'. And that is when the rubber met the road...the girls were clearly confused about the perceived difference between Loving God as they did and the need to pray THIS ONE prayer.

I am realizing more and more how much the way Hubby and I 'do' faith is counter cultural to mainstream Christian church. I grew up in the family that did not practice any sort of faith, my journey began as a teenager. Consequently I have no baggage from childhood regarding church, but my first few years as a Christian were shaky at best. Like many in the early/mid 90's, I probably 'asked Jesus into my heart' at least a dozen times because my understanding of salvation was tenuous. Hubby grew up in a Christian home and feels that there was no one defining moment where he prayed the prayer, but rather grew in understanding in knowledge within the family unit. We both recognize that we really grabbed hold of our faith in our early 20's, though the years before were formative. So, we've never really had the conversation with the girls around praying a specific prayer. We have tried to live a faith filled life, have good friends and family around us and tried to teach the girls about following Jesus to the best of our ability.

Pookie wanted to have a defining moment and wanted to know the exact words she should pray to ask Jesus into her heart. So we gathered as a family and Hubby helped Pookie with the words and it was beautiful. Bear climbed into my lap and buried her head into my chest. I got her to look at me and asked what was wrong. She looked at me with tears threatening to fall and simply said, "I don't understand why I need to pray this prayer. I love God."

OH MY! I'm still pretty emotional while writing this. I just hugged her and put my hand on her heart and told her that she just needed to know one thing, she loved God and God loved her and that's all that matter. My girls have the purest of love for God, more beautiful than I can ever hope to attain.

So the question is, did I do a disservice to my girls by not using the language or teaching them about praying a specific prayer?

The Urban Hike

Buses, trains and ferries...that was our weekend. We had the opportunity to stay at a cabin on the Sunshine Coast; an opportunity I was supposed to miss because I was SUPPOSED to be in New York.

Anyways, we could have driven to the ferry, paid for parking and made the trip a hundred times easier on ourselves. But we decided to look at this trip as training for our world trip. Which meant we all had to find our backpacks and load them up with everything we needed for the weekend. None of us have proper hiking backpacks, the girls have their school one and Hubby and I have just regular ole backpacks. It was quite entertaining to figure out how we were going to fit everything. Thankfully we didn't need to pack bedding or towels, but we did need to pack all our food, paper products, clothes and assorted misc. items. I walked into the girls' room to find Pookie stuffing her pack with stuffed animals. I gently reminded her that she needed to carry her pack all weekend, WITHOUT complaining, so perhaps she should rethink the 15 stuffed animals and pack some underwear. I think she got it down to 3, of which she played with none our whole weekend. Once everything was packed, we caught a bus out of the village, then a train into the city, then another bus to the ferry terminal, then a ferry, then a water taxi to the island. All in all, about 3.5 hours of travelling.

We spent the weekend walking trails, freaking out at slugs and on Saturday afternoon Hubby and the girls helped build docks. That got us free dinner at the camp at 9pm and fresh cinnamon rolls on Sunday morning. Which was good since our options were KD and stale bread. (Hubby was in charge of packing food and 'forgot' to pack actual meal stuff)

Then the epic trek back which was closer to 5 hours due to bad connections between ferries and buses into the village. The girls were troopers and even walked home from the bus station to our house (about 3 km) with a little incentive from McD's. I was pretty proud of our little backpackers and am looking forward to doing more "training" in the coming months!

Thistle and Weeds

I know I'm behind the times with this group, but whatever...they are still on the top 10 list at Itunes. Which means lots of other folk are just getting them too. I'm a big fan of most of their songs, but this one seems to hit closer to home than most. I couldn't find an 'official' video, so here is a tribute vid:

It is official

The 'For Sale' sign went up yesterday...which of course meant that our stress levels went up through the roof as well. An unfinished bathroom reno+horrible Canucks game+a long list of To Do's= 2 terribly grumpy parents yelling at their daughters. It got so bad that the girls put on their pjs and announced that they were going to their room to play stuffies.

I eventually got myself together enough to apologize to the girls and read them 3 chapters of their bedtime book. But Hubby and I continued to go downhill and by the end of the night were barely grunting at each other.

On my drive in this morning I was thinking about the all the common stressors on a marriage, kids, money etc. I know my pre-martial counseling covered money stress, the importance of praying together and the pastor telling Hubby that if our marriage failed that it would be Hubby standing before God in judgement. Not super helpful or even very preparatory. I think if I ever got back into ministry/counseling I think my pre-martial counseling strategy would be very different. I'd have a To Do List for the couple:

1. Find the smallest car you can. Fill it full of stuff and go on a two day road trip. Ideally you'd break down somewhere and have to figure out how to fix the car with a shoelace and some duct tape.
2. Go to Ikea and buy a piece of furniture that has at least 20 pieces to it. Take it home and assemble together.
3. Tackle a major home renovation.

I'm sure that there is more I could add, but I think if you can make it past these three, you are on the right track.