I eventually got myself together enough to apologize to the girls and read them 3 chapters of their bedtime book. But Hubby and I continued to go downhill and by the end of the night were barely grunting at each other.
On my drive in this morning I was thinking about the all the common stressors on a marriage, kids, money etc. I know my pre-martial counseling covered money stress, the importance of praying together and the pastor telling Hubby that if our marriage failed that it would be Hubby standing before God in judgement. Not super helpful or even very preparatory. I think if I ever got back into ministry/counseling I think my pre-martial counseling strategy would be very different. I'd have a To Do List for the couple:
- Find the smallest car you can. Fill it full of stuff and go on a two day road trip. Ideally you'd break down somewhere and have to figure out how to fix the car with a shoelace and some duct tape.
- Go to Ikea and buy a piece of furniture that has at least 20 pieces to it. Take it home and assemble together.
- Tackle a major home renovation.
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At some point, early in our marriage, we replaced our bathtub and changed out the old tub surround for tile. As I was "helpfully" giving David advice on his caulking technique, he turned and looked at me and said (very evenly), "I don't think I want to install tile with you. I don't think it would be good for our marriage."
We promptly hired a professional.
It is not an exaggeration to say that SJ and I can't even tidy the house together. We nearly left each other over house paint selection early in our marriage and now have the good sense to leave with the kids when the other wants to do a Serious Cleaning of the home. I moved in with my mother the last time we did a project, putting in new flooring. In one room. There is a wisdom in separateness. And paid professionals as neighbourhood.gal points out.
Fingers crossed for a bidding war and easy close.
Thankfully last night I managed to avoid another parenting fail by ordering pizza and throwing it at the girls while they played at the park with their friends. Then letting them shower in our bathroom, having an ice cream cone and a movie while we worked. Really, it is all about food. Hubby and I managed to stay very civil to each other. The bathroom is 80% done for the realtors viewing today and we are hopeful about it being 100% done for Sunday's open house.
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