Thursday, November 4, 2010

The Eternal Parenting Question...

I feel like this one question comes up at least once a day in my mind as I attempt to parent the girls:

Is it OK to parent the girls differently or must I always make the same decision/same rules/same parenting style for them?

This is especially relevant since Pookie keenly feels the difference and often feels like we 'favour' Bear. But they are such different personalities and different strategies work on them. If we say to Bear that she needs to eat alone, that will motivate her to finish everything on her plate in record time. If we tell Pookie that she has to eat alone, she will dig in and sit there for hours. They are pretty much total opposites in everything and right now they almost always choose differently from each other. This has led to us walking out of videos stores due their inability to compromise on a movie, grocery stores and libraries because I'm just so tired of trying to be fair.

At least they are learning that if you push Mom too far, you will end up with nothing...cause damned if they get a treat/movie/book by acting like if their choice isn't 'THE ONE', life is over as we know it.

Some days it just feels like we, as parents, are making the wrong choices ALL THE FREAKING TIME!

Or maybe I'm just really tired tonight. Hard to say.

1 comment:

ACJ said...

A) You remember the part where how things are and how things feel aren't the same, right? You mostly make really great decisions all the time, but the feeling of low-grade, consistent success is never as clearly recalled as the the feeling of crushing, rage-inducing failure. It's bad wiring - you should complain to the Maker.

B) Teaching kids that the world isn't fair is one of my greatest pleasures. Suck it up buttercup - fair isn't on the menu.

You know you're right. You would tell yourself you were doing it right if you were your friend, listening to your self try to figure this out over coffee.

Tell the girls I said "hi." And "ha!"