In my late teens and very early twenties all my friends got married. Seriously. I went to 11 weddings in the span of 3 years; the last one being my best friend. It should not have been a shock to anyone that I left shortly after...there was something both depressing and disturbing at being called both an Old Maid and a seductress at the age of 21.
A seductress. That one still makes me laugh!
So it's been kinda fun to attend 2 weddings this summer of good friends. 2 totally different weddings, but both so completely unique in their own ways.
This is the story of today's wedding...
The setting was a home nestled in 2 acres of lush gardens, a fish pond, a secret tree house and miles of grass. It was informal and relaxed. There was activity bags for kids filled with games, colouring, bubbles and funky sunglasses. There was homemade lemonade and ice tea for drinking during the ceremony. Music and readings included Sesame Street and beloved kids' literature. (Sounds hokey, but not at all. It was spell binding) The vows were beautiful and poetic. A record of witnesses was a hand drawn portrait of a tree where we all placed our thumbprints and names as leaves on the tree.
The food was cooked by friends and fed both our bellies and our souls.
There was a dance party, and teary tributes by family and friends.
There was birth family.
There was chosen family.
There was old friends, new friends and everything in between.
There was abundant love and laughter.
It was beautiful.
It was our friends, C & J, two women who Love God and Love each other.
I know that this is a controversial issue, especially for Christians. I get that. I wrestle with it myself. It wasn't a hard decision to go to the wedding, it was hard to decide whether Pookie and Bear should go. C was the girls' nanny one summer and was amazing. We have known these women for years, journeyed with them through the good, bad and ugly.
But.
The girls are at an age where they are VERY aware of relationships. Disney princesses notwithstanding, they get giggly when we show affection, when our neighbour's kid kisses his girlfriend etc. I thought it would be confusing and distressing for them to go. The reality is that kids get the whole 'love everyone' rule that Jesus has so much better than we do. Will the girls have questions? Yes, I hope so. Am I glad that they witness this wedding with us? Yes again. Given a choice, I would always have the girls witness life, in all its confusing and beautiful forms with us. And I would have us wrestle through it together.
My real fear is that when the girls share this experience with others, they will be mocked for it. I fear someone beating them over the head with the bible for a choice that we made for them. I'm OK with being called into the Pastor's office or Principal's office to have a discussion about it. But I don't want my kids to suffer for it. I can only trust it won't happen.
Do I regret it? Not one single bit.